ashes, ashes

WARNING: Religion-related content. Potentially also blocked in China.

So, yesterday was Ash Wednesday. Or today, if you're in the states.

I sat through the service and listened carefully to the verse about not publicly displaying your devotion to be rewarded for it on earth, but rather praying quietly and privately to preserve the reward for Heaven. I get it, I think. In so much as I "get" anything having to do with religion. But I have to say this created some confusion for me. First of all, Ash Wednesday directly involves a public display of faith. You walk around with ashes on your head, and everyone then knows you're religious. So there's that.

But then, there's also the distinction between then and now. There are settings, both past and present, where there is a social reward of sorts for displaying one's faith. China isn't really one of them, what with its whole banning citizens from attending churches - you have to have a foreign passport to attend church here.

So I considered at length (by which I mean the length of the service prior to the distribution of ashes) whether it was worse to take the option of ashes on my forehead, thereby displaying my faith, or on my hand, which is, let's admit, much easier to hide. I couldn't decide if my decision would be based on being embarrassed about ashes on my forehead in the public place I was going after church (Frank's - a great place for trivia, by the way), in which case it seemed worse to hide them, or if it was because I somehow wanted people to think better of me because I went to church in the middle of the week.

Turns out no one opted for ashes on their hands, so I followed suit and hoped God would forgive me if my motivations were impure. At any rate, I got some really interesting stares, several questions (is that a tattoo? Are you a witch?), and a lot of blatant giggling and pointing by the Chinese waitresses.

On a side note: They don't tend to try to conceal it when they're talking about someone here - it's almost refreshing how blatant they are about things like mocking others, and discriminating on the basis of socioeconomic status, religion, race, etc, at least as opposed to denying that it exists. Then again, if they have no intention of changing it, maybe it's even worse? What an interesting world we live in.

Also, I like the smell of the ashes. So I suppose I'm also quite selfish in being glad my forehead still kind of smells like them.